The Onion: Don't Skimp on the...

The ever-clever Onion reports, that those foods that most Americans “don’t skimp on” or only want “just a silver” of, can in fact screw up our health. Take it away Onion:
People who frequently start sentences with the phrase "don't skimp on the" are 40 percent more likely to develop some form of heart disease. "Use of the phrase poses a very serious health risk, especially when the speaker is in close proximity to mayonnaise," said Dr. Keith Logsdon, a leading cardiovascular researcher and chief author of the study. "We have also found data suggesting that the seemingly benign utterance 'just a sliver' could be equally detrimental to heart health, particularly when used three to four times in the span of an hour."
Granted, it might be fake news, but hopefully it’ll make you think twice before you dollop the Daisy:

“Clog your arteries with a dollop, a dollop, a dollop!” Eek!
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