Disease Proof

Do you remember The French Laundry? No—it’s not like a French kiss! It’s a restaurant, located in Yountville California, voted one of The World’s 50 Best Restaurants of 2006, and, we examined it for Eating to Live on the Outside back in November. Okay, you’re probably saying to yourself, “And?” Well it seems my French needs a little—a lot of work. Because evidently this excerpt is a demonstration in translation futility:

And as always, nous voulons vos réactions! Nous dire que vous pourriez avoir fait différemment. Payer la note le menu français de la Lessive et savons comment que vous Mange pour Habiter sur l'Extérieur? Partir un commentaire ou nous envoie un e-mail à diseaseproof@gmail.com.

How’d I discover my lingual shortcomings? Well actually, I didn’t, and I probably never would have because foreign languages aren’t exactly my strong suit. Put it to you this way, I’m full-blooded Italian, most of my family speaks fluent Italian, and in fact my mother was born in Italy, but I barely managed to eek by with a B- in Italian I & II. Did I mention my mother did all my homework too? So I wasn’t the least bit surprised when I received this email from Amy:

I was delighted to come across "Eat to Live on the Outside" and was making notes of places to go when I was stumped by your notes at the bottom of your "French Laundry" commentary. It was so adorably badly written that I re-read it about a dozen times and consulted earlier entries to try to figure out what you were trying to say. Perhaps someone has already pointed it out to you but I thought you might be entertained by a translation of what you wrote:


"We want your reactions! Us tell that you could have done differently. Pay the bill the French menu of The Laundry and we know how you Eat in order to Dwell on top of the Exterior? Depart a comment or us send an email to..."

I'm sure that you hardly meant the French to be taken at all seriously I apologize for being such a smarty-pants but I used to edit French translations and I just couldn't help myself. Please continue to keep writing the helpful pieces and thanks for the laugh.

Well, if it’s “adorably badly written” then that must mean in a roundabout sort of way she’s calling me cute. I’m cute! I’m cute! I’m cute! Sorry, my apologies to Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer. And actually, I can’t assume total responsibility for this. I just used some random online translation tool. Hey, let’s see what happens when we try to translate some other popular DiseaseProof terminology into French. Keep your eyes peeled for errors, Amy—wink, wink:

• Low-carb loonies = Le bas-carb timbré
• Nutrient-dense = Nutritif-dense
• Vegetable-based = Légume-basé
• Standard American Diet = Le Régime américain standard
• The Misinformation of Barry Groves and Weston Price = La Désinformation de Bosquets de Barry et de Weston Evalue
• Cruciferous vegetables = Cruciferous legumes
• Phytonutrients = Phytonutrients
• Eat to Live = Manger pour Habiter
• Disease-Proof Your Child = La maladie-preuve Votre Enfant
• Sushi For Your Tootsie = Le sushi Pour Votre Tootsie
• Sweet Beet Carrot Bars = La Carotte douce de Betterave Barre
• Flaxseeds = Graines de lin
• Kale = Chou frisé

Now I’m not a betting man, but I’d venture to say that most of those are seriously wrong—or should I say, “sérieusement mauvais.” What do you think Amy? Oh, and thanks for the feedback! It’s always appreciated. Just email us at diseaseproof@gmail.com.