Eating to Live on the Outside: Huddle House

Eat to Livers—welcome to hell! I’m sure a lot of people say to themselves, “Why are Americans so unhealthy?” It’s because of restaurants like this. Huddle House might just be the worst standard American restaurant Eating to Live on the Outside has ever attempted to tackle. Let us proceed with caution.

I find it ironic that the Huddle House’s website has colorful pictures of fresh strawberries, peppers, and tomatoes, but don’t be confused, this place is simply chock full of cheese, bacon, cured meat, creamy sauces, and greasy fixings. Otherwise know as—DYING YOUNG!

First up is the breakfast menu, well, its horrible. Fried eggs—no! Cured sausage—no! Greasy hash browns—no! Rib-eye steak—no! Yeah, let’s move on to the next section, omelets and waffles. I don’t know about you, but a Philly cheese steak omelet doesn’t sound very health promoting to me. And regardless, I don’t eat eggs, so none of these will work for me and as for the waffles? Think again—nah!

Next up are the big house platters and the signature sandwiches. Clearly the signature of Huddle House is furthering heart disease, high cholesterol, and high blood pressure in this country, because there’s nothing good about a Triple Decker burger, Country Fried Chicken sandwich, Half Pound Hamburger Steak, Chicken Melt, Philly Cheese Steak, or whatever other horrible excuse for food this place can cook up. I’m sorry Eat to Livers, but this place is miserable.

Now let’s look at the dinner menu—bad, just bad. Again, I see nothing I’d be eager to order here; lot’s of French fries, red meat, fried chicken, and toasted white bread. Not exactly the instruments of a long healthy life. Perhaps the only redeeming thing here is the dinner salad. If I had to order something, I’d go with the dinner salad, but as we’ll see, there’s no guarantee that salad is going to be Fuhrman-friendly either.

This menu section is called “Lite House.” My guess is this is supposed to be the healthy section of the menu, which is funny, because there’s nothing really overwhelmingly healthy about it. Sure, compared to the rest of the menu it’s a few steps up, but overall, more standard American garbage food. The two salad options are packed with hardboiled egg, cheese, and chicken strips—I’ll pass!

But again, if I HAD to eat at Huddle House—which would mean I was struck over the head, kidnapped, and awoke chained to a table—I’d take either the Grilled Chicken Salad or the Crispy Chicken Salad and strip it of its chicken and egg. Leaving you with a pile of lettuce and tomato, now, as good as lettuce and tomato are for you, I’m not paying restaurant prices for it. This would be the part of my kidnapping story where I gnaw through my chains and run out of Huddle House screaming.

In the end, I would not eat at the Huddle House. If I were asked to go, I would politely decline or just go and eat ice chips the whole time. The Huddle House is no place for the casual or ardent Eat to Liver. In fact, it should be considered a public health hazard.

Okay, time for a dumb question. Have any of you ever eaten at a Huddle House? If so, let me know. Make a comment or send me an email at Oh, and if you're a gluten for punishment. Check out Huddle House’s menu and see if you can make any of it work. Feel free to evoke the power of higher beings, you’ll need it.
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Comments (5) Read through and enter the discussion with the form at the end
Randy M - January 11, 2009 2:26 PM

Why when I googled Waffle House, was I not able to find your negative comments about them. They have ultimately the same but worse menu choices. You can ask Huddle House to leave the egg and cheese off your salad if you wish. We also offer grilled chicken, salad and a vegetable on the side. All of our eggs are cooked with non fat vegetable spray and also offered poached. Our hashbrowns and be steamed and not cooked in shortening, ask Waffle House to do this for you! Bean sprouts and tofu are not available on our menu, but for people like you maybe we should offer these choices as an option!
Randy McNaughton
Owner of Huddle House #615

sean - January 23, 2009 4:20 PM

i am ass. mrg. at huddle house .and we have high standards on our food . on cooking and preping our product. so go beat up on waffle house . 37 years at huddle house havent killed anywon yet lol

Cheryl Dougherty - March 6, 2009 3:12 PM

I just got home from eating lunch at our local Huddle House. I had the six ounce ribeye, baked potato with sour cream and a salad. I don't worry about whether it was good or bad for me, only that it tasted good and made me happy. I try to eat as healthy as I can the rest of the week but Saturday mornings I reserve for my weakness, ribeye. There are good and bad choices at any restaurant. Huddle House does a good job of preparing food whatever way I ask.

kevin stillman - April 7, 2009 11:22 PM

i believe huddle house is a recipe for death there is nothing fresh in that resturant not even the air its a bunch of garbage cooked on a flat grill

YUCK - May 19, 2011 6:00 PM

Lite? They have the nerve to call anything on their menu lite??! My god, they don't even offer a SINGLE alternative side dish to replace the greasy hash browns or sausages. No fruit, granola, cereal, yogurt, oatmeal, NOTHING. The only fruit I could even find is strawberries on top of million calorie french toast smothered in syrup. Just disgusting. I have to meet some people there this Saturday and bet I'll be eating before I go and plead an "upset stomach" when I get there so I don't have to get into the whole "you're eating enough calories for an entire day in that one meal there bub" conversation. This place should be shut down, obviously we as a country are too stupid to make healthy choices on our own. I'm not even going to site obesity rates, because that would just make my point for me.

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