Disease Proof

Eating to Live on the Outside: Caroline's on Broadway

Honestly, I’m still reeling from last week’s Disney debacle, but, I’ll solider on. So for today, we’re heading slightly north of Disney World—on Broadway! That’s right. I’m grabbing the next C-train and trudging my way uptown to the world famous New York comedy club, Caroline’s on Broadway—and hopefully their menu is no laughing matter!

Okay, I promise, I’ll try and keep the lame puns and dumb jokes to a minimum, but, I make no guarantees. Alright, let’s see what we got here. I’ll start with the opening act, the appetizers—whoa! Why bother? Nothing Fuhrman-friendly here, unless of course you consider nachos, onion rings, and quesadillas nutrient-dense—and if you do, perhaps you’re frequenting the wrong blog? Yeah, I’m going to give the appetizers the hook. Let’s skip them and move on to something else.

Salads and sandwiches are next. Well, it’s better—and by better I mean at least one of the five offerings have potential. No surprise here, I’m eyeballing a basic salad. The House Salad is prepared with mixed greens, cherry tomatoes, and sherry vinaigrette. It’s always good to see green on a menu, although Caroline’s does serve up fried zucchini, so not all green is great. Now, as for the rest of salads and sandwiches, they bomb. Cheeseburgers and Cesar Salads make me gag! Oh, and I’d definitely go easy on the salad dressing—ordering it on the side would be a good idea.

Next are pizza and pasta—this can’t be good! For starters, all the pizzas are out. I don’t eat dairy. That means no cheese, no milk, no butter—no nothing! If it comes from a cow, I don’t eat it. So then, what about the pasta? Well, I’d eat pasta instead of cheese any day, but Dr. Fuhrman doesn’t consider pasta health food, meaning, it’s a quite the concession. But, if my back was against the wall and I had to order something, I think the Penne Pomodoro is the safest bet. It’s pretty basic. Tomato sauce, basil, and mozzarella cheese—cheese! Relax, I’m ditching the cheese. Now granted, you’re stuck with a bunch of refined pasta, but to me, it’s better than a load of ooey-gooey disease-promoting cheese. What do you think?

On to the entrees—I’m flashing them the light, which means time to get off stage. The only one I’d consider ordering is the Pan Seared Salmon. It’s made with roasted potatoes, seasonal vegetables, and a lemon-caper sauce. Okay, I like the potatoes, the vegetables are cool, salmon is one of the fishes Dr. Fuhrman considers a low mercury risk, but the sauce. Honestly, I’d omit the sauce, capers are salty and it’s probably got a lot of oil in it too. Now, I realize this is only a minor alteration and there are probably a bunch of concessions still lurking around, but, it’s better than nothing. And yes, if I ate the fish I’d wait a couple weeks before I had fish again.

Now, Caroline’s does offer a bunch of desserts, but, I’m not going there—it’s a tough crowd. But overall, it’s a good thing Caroline’s is better known for its topnotch stand-up comedy because the food is nothing more than standard American junk food. I’m going there in a couple weeks, so if I decide to eat there, I’ll keep you posted, but knowing me, I’ll probably just make a pit stop at Sacred Chow beforehand. Anyway, check out Caroline’s on Broadway’s menu and let us know how you eat to live on the outside. Make a comment or send an email to diseaseproof@gmail.com.
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