Disease Proof

If I had to equate Eating to Live on the Outside to an amusement park ride, it’d be a rollercoaster. Why? Because there are the ups, health conscious restaurants like Just Salads, Chipotle, and P.F. Chang’s, and the downs, like Denny’s, IHOP, and Sizzler. After months of doing this series I can honestly say this rollercoaster is more often than not, barreling downward—which makes sense when you consider the state of obesity in this country.

The U.S. landscape is littered with standard American restaurants—menus teeming with bacon cheese fries, deep-fried green beans, and full-slab spare ribs—and this week’s restaurant certainly falls in line with all that. Say hello to Boston Market. While not as bad as other eateries I’ve examined, it’ll definitely make an Eat to Liver cringe. Tighten your boot straps, we’re going in.

The first section of the menu entitled “Individual Meals” won’t appeal to non-meat eating Eat to Livers; lots of turkey, chicken, and beef. To be honest, even though I eat meat, I’m not exactly ecstatic about it either. The All Beef Meatloaf and Roasted Sirloin are history because I don’t eat red meat, under any circumstances. I don’t trust the Chicken Pot Pie because the menu says it includes a touch of cream—that touch of cream is enough to give me a touch of gastritis! So what’s left? Basically just the rotisserie chicken, rotisserie turkey, and roasted turkey—I’ll take the roasted turkey. For both the rotisserie chicken and turkey the portion sizes are too big for me, I’ll eat chicken or turkey, but I don’t want ¼ of a bird. I’d probably also go easy on the poultry gravy too.

Now, if meat isn’t your fancy, and it isn’t always mine, Boston Market does have a couple salads you can choose from—I say a couple because there are only two. Just the kind of health variety you’d expect from a standard American restaurant (tongue in cheek). The first option is a Caesar Salad, not for me, too much cheese and dairy—not worth the risk! The Market Chopped Salad would be my safest bet. It doesn’t tell you exactly which vegetables are in it, all the menu reads is, “More fresh veggies than a farmers market! A wondrous collection of crispy vegetables, mixed green lettuce, and flavors mixed with Craisins [dried cranberries], and crumbled blue cheese. Tossed with our signature champagne vinaigrette.” If you want you can add chicken, turkey breast, or hot sirloin—I’ll pass! I’m also ditching the blue cheese and of course I’d go easy on the dressing, no sense sabotaging my salad.

Okay, Boston Market’s problems really become evident when you take a look at the “Soups & Sides” section of the menu. In total there are eighteen offerings, I only flagged four as potential candidates, but I can only order one of them with a somewhat straight face. The Seasonal Fresh Fruit Salad is the most Fuhrman-friendly out of them all; a fresh mix of melon and seedless grapes. Remember this one because everything else is iffy, at best. The Fresh Steamed Vegetables sound like a good idea, but they’re tossed in olive oil, salt, and pepper—this kind of compromises the broccoli, carrots, zucchini, yellow squash, and green beans. I’d still order it, but it’d be so much better without the toss-job. I might also consider the Cinnamon Apples, but they come with brown sugar. Also, the Cranberry Walnut Relish could be a nice alternative to gravy, if I decided to order meat.

At first glance there are other sides on the menu that grabbed my attention, but if you read the fine print, they’ve got problems—especially for me! Take the Sweet Corn and Greens Beans for example, I love them both, but they’re both seasoned in a garlic butter sauce, and butter is a major no-no! And the sides that aren’t prepared with butter have cream in them, this doesn’t bode well either. So despite the vast offerings, and Eat to Liver would find this list pretty limiting.

So, if you were to ask me if Boston Market has any redeeming characteristics, I’d probably point to the nutrition facts. Every item on the menu has them, so at the very least you can maintain damage control because you’ll know exactly how many calories, sodium, fat, etc. are in what you’re eating. A small consolation I know.

Don’t forget, we want your feedback! Check out the Boston Market menu and let us know how Eat to Live on the outside? Leave a comment or email us at diseaseproof@gmail.com.