Eating to Live on the Outside: Fazoli's
Fazoli's? Actually, this place should be called Faux-zoli’s because the menu is loaded with faux-talian food. Yup, you guessed it, loads of cheese, meat, and rich sauces. Yum! Get ready for a heaping helping of standard American food—or should I say—standard American “Italian” food.
I grew up eating a lot of Italian food and I can tell you, IT’S NOT ALL PIZZA AND PASTA! For example, my mother grew up in Italy and she’ll tell you, “We mostly ate vegetables with some pasta. Meat was special. We maybe had it once a week and it was usually fish.” So when I read “Fazoli’s serves premium quality Italian food” and all I see on the menu is pepperoni, hearty meat sauces, Caesar salad, and Italian Ice—my head nearly exploded! But despite this mounting pressure in my cranium, I’ll soldier on. So here’s what I would order if someone hit me over the head, threw me into a car, and dumped me off at Fazoli’s.
Okay concession number one—oops, I mean the first menu item I’d order is The Grilled Chicken Panini. And right away I see problems. The panini, it's bread, probably white bread and loaded with olive oil. I’ll stick with it, but it’s a decent-sized concession. Okay, clearly I’m ditching the provolone—I don’t do dairy. Now I’m cool with the chicken, but that would be my meat allotment for the week. Also I’d limit the Lite Italian dressing that comes with it, I have my suspicious as to how “lite” it really is. Hey, on the up side it comes with lettuce and tomato—the standard American source of phytonutrients.
My next two menu selections are pasta dishes. Okay, so I’m already admitting to that concession—hopefully I can run a tight ship from here on out. Fazoli’s gives you an option to make your own pasta dish and they have a couple decent selections to choose from. Personally, I’m going with the Whole Wheat Penne topped with Broccoli. Of course I’d ask if the chef could refrain from drowning it with olive oil. Maybe you could get the olive oil on the side or just season with garlic powder. Fazoli’s also sells pizza, so surely there’s got to be a garlic shaker somewhere. The Minestrone also looks good, but if you check the menu’s nutrition facts, you’ll see it pretty salty. So ordering it entails a pasta and salt concession. It’s a tough sell either way.
Finally—and this shouldn’t surprise anyone—the last item I’d order is a salad. Actually, Fazoli’s offers up six salads, all but two are loaded with standard American salad ruiners; ham, salami, pasta, cheese, and croutons. The Garden Side Salad is probably the best option it’s touted as, “The perfect size with mixed greens and grape tomatoes.” I’d ask the waiter about getting this dinner-sized. The Grilled Chicken salad would also work. It appears to be the same thing as the side salad, but with a piece of chicken on top—how creative. In the end both these options are pretty safe, provided you go easy on the dressing.
If you weren’t able to tell, my level of enthusiasm for Fazoli’s was pretty much nonexistent. Very lame food, drawing from the lowest common denominator of Italian cuisine, not very nutritious, and very unappealing. To be frank, I wouldn’t eat at Fazoli’s. In fact, I’ll repeat what I told a commenter last week when she asked me to take a look at this abomination called the Heart Attack Grill, “If I was in a car headed to this place, I'd hit the driver in the head with my shoe.” Yeah, that just about sums it up.
Oh, and you know the drill, we want your feedback! Tell us what you might have done differently or what you agree with. Check out Fazoli's menu and let us know how you Eat to Live on the Outside? Leave a comment or email us at diseaseproof@gmail.com.
I grew up eating a lot of Italian food and I can tell you, IT’S NOT ALL PIZZA AND PASTA! For example, my mother grew up in Italy and she’ll tell you, “We mostly ate vegetables with some pasta. Meat was special. We maybe had it once a week and it was usually fish.” So when I read “Fazoli’s serves premium quality Italian food” and all I see on the menu is pepperoni, hearty meat sauces, Caesar salad, and Italian Ice—my head nearly exploded! But despite this mounting pressure in my cranium, I’ll soldier on. So here’s what I would order if someone hit me over the head, threw me into a car, and dumped me off at Fazoli’s.
Okay concession number one—oops, I mean the first menu item I’d order is The Grilled Chicken Panini. And right away I see problems. The panini, it's bread, probably white bread and loaded with olive oil. I’ll stick with it, but it’s a decent-sized concession. Okay, clearly I’m ditching the provolone—I don’t do dairy. Now I’m cool with the chicken, but that would be my meat allotment for the week. Also I’d limit the Lite Italian dressing that comes with it, I have my suspicious as to how “lite” it really is. Hey, on the up side it comes with lettuce and tomato—the standard American source of phytonutrients.
My next two menu selections are pasta dishes. Okay, so I’m already admitting to that concession—hopefully I can run a tight ship from here on out. Fazoli’s gives you an option to make your own pasta dish and they have a couple decent selections to choose from. Personally, I’m going with the Whole Wheat Penne topped with Broccoli. Of course I’d ask if the chef could refrain from drowning it with olive oil. Maybe you could get the olive oil on the side or just season with garlic powder. Fazoli’s also sells pizza, so surely there’s got to be a garlic shaker somewhere. The Minestrone also looks good, but if you check the menu’s nutrition facts, you’ll see it pretty salty. So ordering it entails a pasta and salt concession. It’s a tough sell either way.
Finally—and this shouldn’t surprise anyone—the last item I’d order is a salad. Actually, Fazoli’s offers up six salads, all but two are loaded with standard American salad ruiners; ham, salami, pasta, cheese, and croutons. The Garden Side Salad is probably the best option it’s touted as, “The perfect size with mixed greens and grape tomatoes.” I’d ask the waiter about getting this dinner-sized. The Grilled Chicken salad would also work. It appears to be the same thing as the side salad, but with a piece of chicken on top—how creative. In the end both these options are pretty safe, provided you go easy on the dressing.
If you weren’t able to tell, my level of enthusiasm for Fazoli’s was pretty much nonexistent. Very lame food, drawing from the lowest common denominator of Italian cuisine, not very nutritious, and very unappealing. To be frank, I wouldn’t eat at Fazoli’s. In fact, I’ll repeat what I told a commenter last week when she asked me to take a look at this abomination called the Heart Attack Grill, “If I was in a car headed to this place, I'd hit the driver in the head with my shoe.” Yeah, that just about sums it up.
Oh, and you know the drill, we want your feedback! Tell us what you might have done differently or what you agree with. Check out Fazoli's menu and let us know how you Eat to Live on the Outside? Leave a comment or email us at diseaseproof@gmail.com.
